November 27th, 2018 | 1 hr 23 mins
aldovia, bingo, book adaptation, christmas movie, crossfit, eurovision, film, genovia, hallmark, hallmark christmas, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane austin, meredith blake, movie, netflix, netflix original, parent trap, pemberley manor, podcast, pride and prejudice, princess switch, sam heughan, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv, tv movie
Its the most wonderful time of the year, #HatewatchHallmark 2018! We are kicking off the season with Hallmark's Christmas at Pemberley Manor with a breakdown of Hallmark's many adaptive failures of classic literature, a few jokes at the expense of Gen Z, and plenty of printed emails. Then we move on to our favorite segment-within-a-segment with Netflix, What Have You Done? This time, Netflix has done A Princess Switch (formerly a Christmas Switch), and we travel to Belgragenovaldovia to shout about identity theft, transference, pureeing fruit, and bad accents. Come for the Parent Trap references, stay for the Generic Fictional European Country Eurovision Team draft picks. Also, if you like the show, don't forget to enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest! 25 entries will start a printed-email letter writing campaign to Hallmark and/or the creation of the Generic Fictional European Country Name Generator! Enter us here: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night
October 2nd, 2018 | 57 mins 5 secs
bobs burgers, brooklyn 99, brooklyn nine-nine, cheers, cw, ever wood, film, friends, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hulu, movies, netflix, podcast, romcom, streaming, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, to all the boys i've loved before, tv, wings
This week we are taking you through the hole in the fabric of space-time, back 5 weeks to our first attempt at returning from hiatus. It was a simpler time when Kirstie was getting a lot less sleep and watching a lot more TV, and Kelsey was living her best RomCom life. First we discussed all the TV Kirstie watched on maternity leave, including the gringiness of 90s sitcoms, the argument for the 30 minute sitcom as a format, and Kirstie admitting she was right to lose the great Brooklyn 99 Fight of 2018. Then we have a rare opportunity to put a positive spin on everyone's favorite segment, Netflix, What Have You Done? With a pep in our step and sheer delight in our mics, we review the Netflix RomCom To All The Boys I loved Before, as well as praising the platform for their contributions to the RomCom Renaissance. For the second week in a row, we're glad to be back!
April 24th, 2018 | 1 hr 4 mins
adaptation, books, chris columbus, film, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, imbd, lemony snicket, literature, movies, netflix, netflix original, no opening credits, nonlinear timeline, outlander, podcast, romcom, series of unfortunate events, streaming, streaming tv, sweet tea, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv, when we first met
The theme of this episode is Netflix, What Have You Done? But it also could have been Soda, What Have You Done? Sweet Tea, What Have You Done? IMDB Pro, What Have You Done? We BYOB two Netflix originals. Kelsey watched the Netflix Original RomCom When We First Met and her algorithms will never be the same. We learn about IMDB and all the different ways you can tag panties. Then, Kirstie reveals a shocking plot twist: Netflix, What Have You Done can have positive connotations! We discuss the Series of Unfortunate Events, Kirstie's unbridled joy over television adaptations and dark stories for children. It's a bumpy episode for Netflix, Kirstie's knowledge of actor's names, movies of the mid 2000s and our understanding of the fundamental question, Netflix, What Have You Done?
March 27th, 2018 | 1 hr 12 mins
aristocrats, bridal shop, brides, bridesmaids, british tv, castles, coleslaw sandwiches, cottage life, england, events, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, mary portus, mary portus secret shopper, netflix, nonny, peacocks, podcast, secret shopper, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, trains, tv, uk, weddings, weekend aristocrat, white men
This week we bring you a gift of pure delight. Two shows full of field trips, lessons learned, and throwbacks to other classic hatewatches. We call this, "Cottage Life, UK". First, we bring you Mary Portus, Secret Shopper, where we visit a bridal shop and eat some coleslaw sandwiches. Kelsey finds out trains exist, Mary Portus' origin story is revealed, Kirstie learns vocabulary and we find ourselves trying to navigate some messily told character stories. Then we transition to Weekend Aristocrats, a show about rich white men and their endless fear of plebs. Kelsey gets to relive the show vicariously through this episode, from peacocks to divorces. Come for the Halloween, stay for the tough conversations about socioeconomic inequality and generational aristocracy.
January 22nd, 2018 | 53 mins 20 secs
cheapest weddings, hatewatch, netflix, randos of facebook, randos of instagram
This week we're tackling two classic Hatewatches. First, we start with the Australian import Cheapest Weddings, aka: the Randos of Facebook of Reality TV. The are red carpets, gossipy bowling alleys, tropical storms, crochet wedding dresses, and lots of other budget fun. Then we switch to some Hatewatch Analog to discuss Randos of Facebook and the new reign of terror that is Randos of Instagram. We start off making fun of weddings of the ghosts of high school past, and end up lecturing you on internet safety. At the end of the day, we just want you to be safe and happy out there. Also, have we mentioned that we're watching a lot of Outlander? We really like Outlander.
December 19th, 2017 | 1 hr 14 mins
a christmas prince, acorns, aldovia, christmas, christmas in evergreen, eurovision, hallmark, hatewatch, netflix
Last week we told you a story about wanting to limit our Christmas content. This week we said fuck it. First we're coming in hot with another installment of Netflix, What Have You Done? We talk about A Christmas Prince, princess shit, whether or not certain cohosts do or do not want certain protagonists to bone, laws stuffed in acorns, our pitch for A Christmas Prince 2, and most importantly, we fancast the Aldovian Eurovision Team (Spoiler alert: It's Adam Driver in a horse head mask). Next up we're baking up some Chicken and Pinecones in the Hallmark Cinematic Universe with Christmas in Evergreen. There are magic snowglobes, Coke Santa and airport rants, somehow Kirstie blacks out and forgets half the plot, Kelsey manages to sneak in some Everwood feels, and then we round the whole thing out by complaining about how much we hate Ted from How I Met Your Mother. If you're looking for us, we'll just be in our Christmas Void until the next installment of #HatewatchHallmark.
November 28th, 2017 | 1 hr 13 mins
buy herself, canada, christmas, christmas festival of ice, condos, hallmark, hallmark channel, hallmark christmas, hallmark original movies, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hgtv, ice sculptures, netflix, new hampshire, podcast, sandra rinomato, thought bubble audio, toronto, tv
Get your JumpFunders ready friends because we're heading to The Capitol with some solo house hunters and some ice sculptures. And guess what - Kelsey wrote this whole description BUY HERSELF. First up this week, Sandra Rinomato and her pink tape measure introduce us to the Single Ladies Of Toronto™ and their $750k condo budgets, a true gift from HGTV Canada. Then, we head to Not New Hampshire to continue our #HatewatchHallmark tradition with Chrismas Festival of Ice. From high end finishes made of ice to Christmas boners, this movie truly has it all.
October 24th, 2017 | 45 mins 5 secs
canada, cottage life, cottage life network, game of thrones, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, knitting tv, monty python, netflix, norsemen, podcast, reno my reno, thought bubble audio
This week we are channeling the full spirit of Li'l Hygge with two shows that are members of Li'l Hygge's Knitting Corner. We start with the Netflix original, Norsemen, which is equal parts Game of Thrones, Monty Python, and poop. We apologize. Then, we cover a Netflix offering from our neighbors to the north, Reno My Reno from the Cottage Life Network. As our second Hatewatch from the Cottage Life Network, Reno My Reno starts off as your typical hatewatch, but quickly devolves into Kirstie and Kelsey doing some live, on-air investigative journalism to learn more about this scrappy network. We delve deep into Pinterest, the Cottage Life Convention, and all four of their featured shows. Kelsey then insults Kirstie's motherland, and we all come out of it about as well as the emasculated home owners at the end of their cottage renos.
September 11th, 2017 | 56 mins 11 secs
fall tv preview, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, netflix, podcast, qwikster, reboots, regrets, sitcoms, streaming, thought bubble audio, tv, white gold, young sheldon
This week we literally had to fight off a curse which included coffee spills, jacked up audio, and a mid-recording spider ambush in order to bring you this glorious content. We've got our Fall Tv Preview, complete with the return of everyone's favorite game segment, What Fresh Hell is This???? We talk about the Military Industrial Television Complex, Young Sheldon, Super Magicians turned FBI Agents, single cam sitcoms, Reboots, and so much more. Spoiler alert, we're not happy about any of it. Then for our B segment, it's time for a Hatewatch Holiday: Qwikster Day. Announced on Sept 18th, 2011, Netflix made a life choice that they regretted and rectified by October 10th, 2011. Kelsey has had this day marked on her google calendar ever since. We chose to commemorate this mistake by watching the new Netflix Original: The Adventures of Bobby Draper. Sorry, I meant White Gold. We've got grown men peeing their pants and other stuff that helps us keep our explicit rating. Spoiler alert: We don't hate it as much as we should have. Mark your calendars for next year!
June 26th, 2017 | 57 mins 19 secs
architecture, channel 4, drew scott, grand designs, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hgtv, home improvement, jonathan scott, kevin mccloud, netflix, podcast, the property brothers, thought bubble audio, tv
Sometimes, you encounter a home improvement program, and it's ordinary. Guided by a contractor, a friend, or perhaps, two brothers, the buyers face adversities that limit their budgets and imaginations. They wind up with a home that's perfectly suitable for their purposes. But other times, you may happen upon a builder who yearns for more. A bespoke home, with triple glazed windows and fine mahogany furniture. Perhaps a balcony from which you can monologue. When you embark on the audacious task of evaluating home improvement television, you may just discover the spirit of humanity. Saddle up your Lil' Hygge and enter this Utopia of Awesomeness to discover all of the secret lives of home improvement host extraordinaires, Jonathan and Drew Scott and Kevin McCloud. We're talking cob, mahogany, bespoke suits, The Most Interesting Man In the World, amusement parks, the Third Olsen Twin, and more. Come for the home improvement television, stay for the architectural metaphors.