Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show for Sarcastic People

82. Tidying Up with Marie Kondo and A Winter Princess

February 12th, 2019  |  1 hr 12 mins

a winter princess, hallmark, hallmark winterfest, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, konmari, landora, marie kondo, netflix, netflix what have you done, podcast, sam heughan, spark joy, sparking joy, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tidying up, tidying up with marie kondo, winter princess

Before we begin this episode, let's take a moment to greet the podcast home. You know what that means: it's finally time to talk Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. Spark joy with us on this adventure as Kirstie spends the entire episode masterfully avoiding admitting that she's wrong about how many steps there are in the KonMari method. Then we move on to kimono, which is actually just the Hallmark Channel. We discovered A Winter Princess (Winter for Princess? The Winter of Princess?) and we are here to tell you that it is a delight. Hallmark really phones it in in the wake of Hallmark Christmas, giving us the gift of our favorite fake European country of all time. So tune in for that big reveal, and if it sparks joy for you, consider entering us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit contest! https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

81. Pilot Palooza 2018

February 4th, 2019  |  1 hr 26 mins

abc, charity crossfit, coldplay, fix you, glow, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, killing eve, last man standing, media, nbc, netflix, new amsterdam, outlander, pilots, podcast, sam heughan, sharp objects, starz, streaming, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, timeless, tv, vida

It's that time of year where we look at the television landscape, put on our best White Savior Doctor lab coats and say, "How can I help?" We entered our third Pilot Palooza with a lot of hopes and dreams, and as it turned out nothing was our shit. After getting our squirrel on with this year's batch of shows, we may just need a montage to Coldplay's Fix You, a time machine, or a collection of tiny boxes which spark joy. We watched New Amsterdam, Timeless, Glow, Sharp Objects, Vida, Killing Eve, and checked in briefly with Last Man Standing, play a quick round of Hot Or Tall, talk about a lot of other shows we would have rather been watching that weren't on the list, and nominate this year's Downward Dog because as always our heros have failed us. Let us know if there are any pilots we missed in 2018, and let us know throughout 2019 what shows you'll want us to watch! If you liked Pilot Palooza you still have two more weeks to enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest!: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

79. The 2018 Really F*cking Good Television Awards Show (For Nice People Only)

January 16th, 2019  |  1 hr 17 mins

awards for nice people only, brooklyn 99, grand designs, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, mary portas, netflix, outlander, sam heughan, superstore, television awards, the americans, the good place, tv, tv awards

We survived post-holiday laziness, a laggy connection, poor editing choices, and the flu to get this episode out there to y’all, but we finally did it! We’re wrapping up 2018 with everybody’s favorite awards show, The Really F%cking Good Television Awards Show (For Nice People Only). Highlights include an in-depth discussion of our DVR romance, Kelsey’s Target boner, the reveal of Mr. Hot Or Tall 2018, and some sneaky little Eurovision easter eggs. Thanks for hatewatching with us through another year, y’all! We’ll be back soon for Pilot Palooza 2019!

78. The Christmas Chronicles and A Christmas Prince 2: The Royal Wedding

December 18th, 2018  |  1 hr 14 mins

1492 productions, aldovia, chris columbus, christmas chronicles, christmas movies, christmas prince, christmas prince 2, conga lines, drunk santa, hatewatch, hatewatch christmas, hatewatch with us, jc chasez, netflix, netflix christmas, ron moore, royal wedding, wedding designer

Y'all better buckle up because drunk Santa is driving this podcast sleigh this week. In this very special episode of Netflix, What Have You Done? Christmas Edition, we're airing our grievances about The Christmas Chronicles and A Christmas Prince 2: The Royal Wedding. But it's not just DTF Santa and Aldovian wedding planning over here at Hatewatch HQ. Somehow, this episode takes us from Chris Columbus The Entity to JC Chasez's discography, desperate pleas to Ron Moore, and even a very special Hugh Grant deep cut (Hugh, where were you in Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again!????). If you've enjoyed our Hatewatch Christmas journalism, enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

75. Christmas At Pemberley Manor and Princess Switch

November 27th, 2018  |  1 hr 23 mins

aldovia, bingo, book adaptation, christmas movie, crossfit, eurovision, film, genovia, hallmark, hallmark christmas, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane austin, meredith blake, movie, netflix, netflix original, parent trap, pemberley manor, podcast, pride and prejudice, princess switch, sam heughan, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv, tv movie

Its the most wonderful time of the year, #HatewatchHallmark 2018! We are kicking off the season with Hallmark's Christmas at Pemberley Manor with a breakdown of Hallmark's many adaptive failures of classic literature, a few jokes at the expense of Gen Z, and plenty of printed emails. Then we move on to our favorite segment-within-a-segment with Netflix, What Have You Done? This time, Netflix has done A Princess Switch (formerly a Christmas Switch), and we travel to Belgragenovaldovia to shout about identity theft, transference, pureeing fruit, and bad accents. Come for the Parent Trap references, stay for the Generic Fictional European Country Eurovision Team draft picks. Also, if you like the show, don't forget to enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest! 25 entries will start a printed-email letter writing campaign to Hallmark and/or the creation of the Generic Fictional European Country Name Generator! Enter us here: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

68. Return from Hiatus and Netflix, What Have You Done?

October 2nd, 2018  |  57 mins 5 secs

bobs burgers, brooklyn 99, brooklyn nine-nine, cheers, cw, ever wood, film, friends, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hulu, movies, netflix, podcast, romcom, streaming, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, to all the boys i've loved before, tv, wings

57. Netflix, What Have You Done: When We First Met and Series of Unfortunate Events

April 24th, 2018  |  1 hr 4 mins

adaptation, books, chris columbus, film, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, imbd, lemony snicket, literature, movies, netflix, netflix original, no opening credits, nonlinear timeline, outlander, podcast, romcom, series of unfortunate events, streaming, streaming tv, sweet tea, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv, when we first met

The theme of this episode is Netflix, What Have You Done? But it also could have been Soda, What Have You Done? Sweet Tea, What Have You Done? IMDB Pro, What Have You Done? We BYOB two Netflix originals. Kelsey watched the Netflix Original RomCom When We First Met and her algorithms will never be the same. We learn about IMDB and all the different ways you can tag panties. Then, Kirstie reveals a shocking plot twist: Netflix, What Have You Done can have positive connotations! We discuss the Series of Unfortunate Events, Kirstie's unbridled joy over television adaptations and dark stories for children. It's a bumpy episode for Netflix, Kirstie's knowledge of actor's names, movies of the mid 2000s and our understanding of the fundamental question, Netflix, What Have You Done?

53. Secret Shopper and Weekend Aristocrats

March 27th, 2018  |  1 hr 12 mins

aristocrats, bridal shop, brides, bridesmaids, british tv, castles, coleslaw sandwiches, cottage life, england, events, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, mary portus, mary portus secret shopper, netflix, nonny, peacocks, podcast, secret shopper, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, trains, tv, uk, weddings, weekend aristocrat, white men

This week we bring you a gift of pure delight. Two shows full of field trips, lessons learned, and throwbacks to other classic hatewatches. We call this, "Cottage Life, UK". First, we bring you Mary Portus, Secret Shopper, where we visit a bridal shop and eat some coleslaw sandwiches. Kelsey finds out trains exist, Mary Portus' origin story is revealed, Kirstie learns vocabulary and we find ourselves trying to navigate some messily told character stories. Then we transition to Weekend Aristocrats, a show about rich white men and their endless fear of plebs. Kelsey gets to relive the show vicariously through this episode, from peacocks to divorces. Come for the Halloween, stay for the tough conversations about socioeconomic inequality and generational aristocracy.

45. Cheapest Weddings and Randos of Facebook

January 22nd, 2018  |  53 mins 20 secs

cheapest weddings, hatewatch, netflix, randos of facebook, randos of instagram

This week we're tackling two classic Hatewatches. First, we start with the Australian import Cheapest Weddings, aka: the Randos of Facebook of Reality TV. The are red carpets, gossipy bowling alleys, tropical storms, crochet wedding dresses, and lots of other budget fun. Then we switch to some Hatewatch Analog to discuss Randos of Facebook and the new reign of terror that is Randos of Instagram. We start off making fun of weddings of the ghosts of high school past, and end up lecturing you on internet safety. At the end of the day, we just want you to be safe and happy out there. Also, have we mentioned that we're watching a lot of Outlander? We really like Outlander.

42. A Christmas Prince and Christmas in Evergreen

December 19th, 2017  |  1 hr 14 mins

a christmas prince, acorns, aldovia, christmas, christmas in evergreen, eurovision, hallmark, hatewatch, netflix

Last week we told you a story about wanting to limit our Christmas content. This week we said fuck it. First we're coming in hot with another installment of Netflix, What Have You Done? We talk about A Christmas Prince, princess shit, whether or not certain cohosts do or do not want certain protagonists to bone, laws stuffed in acorns, our pitch for A Christmas Prince 2, and most importantly, we fancast the Aldovian Eurovision Team (Spoiler alert: It's Adam Driver in a horse head mask). Next up we're baking up some Chicken and Pinecones in the Hallmark Cinematic Universe with Christmas in Evergreen. There are magic snowglobes, Coke Santa and airport rants, somehow Kirstie blacks out and forgets half the plot, Kelsey manages to sneak in some Everwood feels, and then we round the whole thing out by complaining about how much we hate Ted from How I Met Your Mother. If you're looking for us, we'll just be in our Christmas Void until the next installment of #HatewatchHallmark.