Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show for Sarcastic People

Bind Off: Game Of Thrones S7E2

July 24th, 2017  |  23 mins 1 sec

arya, game of thrones, greyjoy, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hbo, hot pie, little finger, podcast, thought bubble audio, tv, varys

We're back at it with episode two of season who the fuck knows! This week we got grammar lessons as plot devices, Dany and Tyrion gave us a Grand Designs cross over, Arya and Hot Pie gave us a Great British Bake Off cross over, we were treated to Varys Story Time, Arya met a Hyppogriff, The Greyjoys bought some fireworks at a New Hampshire liquor store and brought them on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, Theon recreated THAT scene from the Titanic, Sam is brewing polyjuice potion to cure Sir Friendzone's gonorrhea, and Jon looks like a bowl of vanilla ice cream. It's a high stakes game of sibling rivalries, stray pets, and alternative cross-over universes, complete with grammar lessons, dick-less jokes, and food that looks like STDs. Oh, and the Li'l Finger News Bulletin is coming in hot, perhaps foreshadowing the outcome of our Fantasy League, so get ready to place your bets on the House Snark's JV team!

Downward Dog Update and Narrators

July 18th, 2017  |  1 hr 10 mins

abc, dogs, downward dog, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, millennials, narration, narrators, podcast, thought bubble audio

Y'all gotta get as hype as Kelsey for this episode because the final verdict on season one of Downward Dog was released recently and it's time to put this show to bed. We talk about the last couple of episodes of the season and all the reasons your dog can't be you boyfriend, even if he is narrating your millennial life. Then we take everything we've learned from Downward Dog to discuss narrators: ones we like, important ones, literary devices, and the best Mad Men AU ever written. Dear listeners, please feel free to jump on that opportunity and send us the Peggy/Joan/Carrie Bradshaw narrator fan fiction of our dreams.

Bind Off: Game of Thrones S7E1

July 17th, 2017  |  16 mins 19 secs

game of thrones, harry potter, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hbo, little finger, podcast, thought bubble audio

Winter has come for House Hatewatch. We rejoined our forlorn ensemble cast and our lost and lonely writers for yet another season of Game of Thrones. Though to be honest, we might have been watching Harry Potter. We weren't sure. We've got our Official Dick Joke Count, the Airing of Grievances, the Li'l Finger News Bulletin, and an introduction to our fantasy teams - House Snark and Valar Prestigious. Tune in every Sunday night for our 15 minute recaps and updates, and feel free to live tweet along with us using the hashtag #hatewatchGOT.

Game of Thrones Preview and RomComducation Part 5: THE FINALE

July 11th, 2017  |  1 hr 16 mins

game of thrones, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hbo, podcast, romantic comedies, romantic comedy, romcom, thought bubble audio, westeros

There's a show coming back to television on some network and we think we've maybe seen it before or it's important or something, so we're previewing it for you. Game of Thrones? Does that sound familiar? We're not sure. We don't know where we are in time or space, much like the Game of Thrones writer's room. We attempt to reorient ourselves to Westeros, make some wild speculations about the season to come, and preview for you what we will be doing to survive this season. Next, we have the finale of our 5 episode series on RomComducation. Kirstie waxes poetic about how far we've all come and Kelsey guides us through closing the loop on this long saga. We should all take a moment to praise her sage wisdom and all the gifts she has to offer. Let us know if we missed anything along this journey!

RomComducation Part 4 and Hatewatch Analog: Beer Festivals

July 6th, 2017  |  1 hr 8 mins

beer, beer culture, beer festivals, beer snobs, bromance, craft beer, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, podcast, romantic comedies, romantic comedy, romcom, thought bubble audio

Welcome back, listening friends! It took us a couple of days to work off that Vacation hangover, but we are back at it! This week we are continuing our segment on RomComs with Part 4: RomComs for These, Our Modern Times and Bromantic Comedies. We talk body humor, buddy plots, and take turns telling lots of fun stories from our younger years including major relationship milestones and silly friendship moments. Log it away for Hatewatch Trivia some day. Then because summer is upon us, we wanted to equip you for the People Watching Spectacular that is Summer Beer Festivals. We've got tropes, archetypes, personalities, and the infinite trauma of gender normativity. Feel free to pass along your beer recommendations, we're going to need all the help we can get.

Utopia of Awesomeness: Property Brothers and Grand Designs

June 26th, 2017  |  57 mins 19 secs

architecture, channel 4, drew scott, grand designs, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hgtv, home improvement, jonathan scott, kevin mccloud, netflix, podcast, the property brothers, thought bubble audio, tv

Sometimes, you encounter a home improvement program, and it's ordinary. Guided by a contractor, a friend, or perhaps, two brothers, the buyers face adversities that limit their budgets and imaginations. They wind up with a home that's perfectly suitable for their purposes. But other times, you may happen upon a builder who yearns for more. A bespoke home, with triple glazed windows and fine mahogany furniture. Perhaps a balcony from which you can monologue. When you embark on the audacious task of evaluating home improvement television, you may just discover the spirit of humanity. Saddle up your Lil' Hygge and enter this Utopia of Awesomeness to discover all of the secret lives of home improvement host extraordinaires, Jonathan and Drew Scott and Kevin McCloud. We're talking cob, mahogany, bespoke suits, The Most Interesting Man In the World, amusement parks, the Third Olsen Twin, and more. Come for the home improvement television, stay for the architectural metaphors.

Bind Off: House of Cards

June 22nd, 2017  |  19 mins 28 secs

bind off, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, house of cards, netflix, podcast, thought bubble audio

Coming in hot with some Spicy Hot Bonus Content, it's our first ever bind off special! Binding off is the knitting term for finishing a project, and hot damn was season 6 of House of Cards a project. We're weaving in the ends on some thoughts and feelings about this season of the show including some returning favorites like Power Claire and her Power Hair, Cathy Durant's pant suits, Tammy 1, wild speculation about next season, some real good puns, and of course, we managed to get a few digs in at the ABC show Downward Dog. Stay tuned for future bind off episodes! Regular episodes will be back atcha on Tuesday evenings.

RomComducation Part 3 and Downward Dog

June 21st, 2017  |  1 hr 2 mins

abc, dogs, downward dog, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, millennials, podcast, romantic comedies, romcom, thought bubble audio, tv

Ok first we're gonna shoot straight with you, yeah we know the sound quality is rough, but it does get better. Hatewatch With Us: Production is hard and cross platform editing is rude. Just like these, the badlands of our audio quality, we will be exploring both the peaks and valleys of RomComs in Part 3 of Kirstie's RomComducation. We've got the movies that defined the genre as well as the movies that destroyed the genre and trust us, we've got feelings on them all. Then, we decided to watch a show no one asked for: ABC's Downward Dog. We've got feelings about allegories, dogs, CGI, millennials, and more. Come for the snark, stay for the knitting patterns in a new segment/social media campaign we're calling Hatewatch Knitting Circle. Stay tuned for Downward Dog related project updates, and feel free to send up any and all of your knitting projects!

House of Cards and Lil' Hygge's Knitting Corner

June 13th, 2017  |  1 hr 3 mins

beau willimon, crafting, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, house of cards, hygge, knitting, knitting tv, netflix, podcast, thought bubble audio, tv

House of Cards sure was a thing that happened huh? The slog is real y'all. We've got feelings, we've got gripes, Power Claire has Power Hair and Beau Willimon is a Digimon. Then it's time to saddle up because we're headed to Lil' Hygge's Knitting Corner to discuss all the ins and outs of consuming media while knitting, crafting, or otherwise multitasking. If you thought House of Cards was a slog through dry government dialogue, just wait until you hear how we feel about counting stitches. You'll also get to hear (in real time) the spontaneous creation of our new segment, Hatewatch Knitting Circle. Please join us in the joy of knitting by sharing your knitting patterns, projects, and favorite knitting television! It's Lil' Hygge approved, wholesome fun on this podcast.

RomComducation Part 2 and Hatewatch Analog: Wedding Season

June 6th, 2017  |  1 hr 1 min

fantasy wedding league, grand romantic gestures, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, high school movies, podcast, romantic comedy, romcom, thought bubble audio, wedding season

This week we're getting romantical. We've got Part Two of Kirstie's RomComducation, where we discuss two new categories of RomComs: RomComs of Kelsey's Formative Years, and High School RomComs. You're going to learn a lot about Kelsey and we're all going to learn a little something about our teenage selves. Keeping in the spirit, we're bringing back our favorite non-media segment, Hatewatch Analog, because TIS THE SEASON! That's right, Wedding Season is upon us and we all know that Facebook feeds across the country are about to be barraged with a mix of wedding photo albums and statuses from single people who are annoyed by wedding photo albums. We figured you might need some coping skills, so our gifts to you include Randos of Facebook, Fantasy Wedding League, and a few pointers on appropriate Hatewatching of people IRL. Bonus, we're offering personalized Grand Romantic Gestures to anyone who engages with us on Twitter or by email, and bonus points to anyone who makes us goofy Say Anything super cuts.

May at Netflix and RomComducation Part 1

May 31st, 2017  |  1 hr 14 mins

hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hulu, netflix, netflix originals, podcast, romantic comedy, romcoms, thought bubble audio

April Showers bring May Netflix Originals. Or something. Netflix decided to release all of their originals in one month so we decided to talk about it before the month was over. We've got Pavlov's Netflix and Hulu branded tin foil hats. Next, we begin Kirstie's RomComducation with an overview of some of the key Foundational and Quintessential RomComs. Kirstie muddles through all her feelings and misconceptions of the genre and winds up doing Journey covers and Kelsey gets lost in time and space. It's a pretty productive conversation. This will be a multi-episode series so get hype!

Board Game Movies: Clue and Battleship

May 23rd, 2017  |  1 hr 11 mins

battleship, board game movies, board games, clue, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, podcast, thought bubble audio

You sunk my aircraft carrier in the parlor with the revolver! This week, we took yet another dive into the realm of movies based on toys with the little known Board Game Movie genre. We take you through sex-farce-McCarthyism allegories, alien take overs, chicken burrito heists, and a series of running dog poop jokes. WE HAVE TO FIND OUT WHO KILLED WHO, WHERE, WITH WHAT! Sir, that's a hit.

Eurovision 2017

May 16th, 2017  |  1 hr 7 mins

europe, eurovision, eurovision 2017, gorillas, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, song contest, thought bubble audio, yodeling

It's that time of year again! Eurovision 2017 came in hot this year as a beacon of headlights in these, our gnarly modern times(drink twice). We recapped each of the 26 performances so you don't have to, drafted our fantasy Eurovision teams, and pondered the finer things like yodeling and gorillas. Come for the performance recaps, stay for the world peace.

TENEPIVERSARY

May 9th, 2017  |  1 hr 9 mins

costumes, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hot dads, podcast, tenepiversary, thought bubble audio, thrift stores, top ten list, top tens

It's Episode 10 of A Thing We Hope To Do For More Than Ten Episodes! Holy cow y'all, how did we make it so far?! My how the time flies! We are so excited to celebrate with you. In honor of our TenEpiVersary special, we present to you our Top Ten Very Special Episode with smash hits like Top Ten Hot Dads, Top Ten Costumes-Purchased-In-A-LA-Thrift-Store. We throw format to the wind and run through over 65 cultural references in a highly categorized audible listicle, AKA: The World's Worst Power Hour.

Spoilers and Hatewatch Analog

May 2nd, 2017  |  1 hr 6 mins

binders, dunder mifflin, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, notebooks, office supplies, pens, podcast, spoiler culture, spoilers, streaming, television, thought bubble audio, tv

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!! That's right folks, this week we're tackling a MAJOR PROBLEM IN SOCIETY. That problem is spoilers, and much like the conversation in Episode 2 about cable, Kirstie and Kelsey will come to an awkward impasse because these crazy kids just don't live the same life. Just another sign of these, our divisive, modern times. Then for something completely different, we attempt our first Hatewatch Analog, a joyous hatewatch of non-media life happenings. This time, it's office supplies.....because that's a thing people care about we guess. It's 15 minutes of all of our feels about pens, notebooks, binders, and everything else you can find down at the local Dunder Mifflin.

Catastrophe and Characters You Hate

April 25th, 2017  |  1 hr 13 mins

almost famous, catastrophe, character development, friends, girls, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, how i met your mother, podcast, romcoms, scrubs, thought bubble audio, tv, unlikeable characters, you're the worst

This episode contains a lot of soul searching, deep shit, and our feelings about human emotions. In the first lesson of Kelsey's Rom Com curriculum, we watch Catastrophe and revel in its Britishness, saltiness, and joyfulness. Then, we talk about characters you're intended to hate and what it means to like or hate characters. We cover ground from the HGTV Prestige Russel Crowe blockbuster Almost Famous, to Friends, How I Met Your Mother, Scrubs, You're The Worst, Girls, and many other properties in between. It's basically a cityscape of properties with hate-able characters, and we round the whole thing out with a deep exploration of our most human vulnerabilities. We also finally created the Hatewatch With Us Drinking Game to make these episodes a little higher stakes.

PS: We know Almost Famous is actually by Cameron Crowe. Shut up.