Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show for Sarcastic People

Chris Columbus Day: Adventures in Babysitting and Harry Potter

October 15th, 2019  |  46 mins 18 secs

1987, 2001, adventures in babysitting, bridget jones diary, chris columbus, christopher columbus, columbus day, film, film directors, harry potter, harry potter and the sorcerers stone, indigenous peoples day, legally blonde, lord of the rings, monsters inc, moulin rouge, movies, nsync, on the line, podcast, racism, shrek, spy kids, the princess diaries, thought bubble, thought bubble audio

It's everyone's favorite problematic holiday, Chris Columbus Day! Instead of celebrating the historical figure who did the genocide across North America, we are celebrating the casual racism of children's film director Chris Columbus. This year we are discussing the film Adventures in Babysitting, and listeners, we are deeply concerned. Then, it's time for us to circle back on Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, one of the great films of 2001. We take this opportunity to explore many of the other great films of 2001 and their standing against Harry Potter. Find out how we feel about the Thumbs from Spy Kids, and if you have any information regarding the not 2001 film Ella Enchanted, please find us on Twitter @hatewatchwithus.

Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club: Make Each Other Watch A Hatewatch Part 2

October 7th, 2019  |  46 mins 5 secs

annie james, beach club, below deck, below deck mediterranean, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, lindsay lohan, lindsay lohan's beach club, lohan group, mtv, mykonos, podcast, reality shows, reality tv, streaming, television, thought bubble audio, tv, tv reviews

We're back (on schedule!) for Part 2 of our regrettable series, Make Each Other Watch A Hatewatch. This week, Kelsey has a moral crisis about watching TV on a laptop as we discuss the MTV series Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club. We're so traumatized by the whole thing that we might buy a whole beach in Mykonos. So join us for hot Annie James takes, Lohan Group empire business updates, and ultimately more discussions of Below Deck Mediterranean. And remember, if you want to be our brand ambassador, please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts!

Spartacus: Make Each Other Watch A Hatewatch Part 1

October 1st, 2019  |  37 mins 28 secs

300, bad feminism, capua, dick jokes, dildo hats, game of thrones, gladiator, gladiators, hatewatch, hatwatch with us, historical drama, homeownership, homoeroticism, international podcast day, jupiters cock, media, parenthood, period piece, podcast, premium cable, romance novels, romans, spartacus, spartacus blood and sand, star wars, starz, strong sexual content, television, the female gaze, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, toxic masculinity, trade federation, tv

In celebration of International Podcast Day (ish), we officially return from our third unexpected hiatus this year with the 10 hour movie that is the Great Poop Tub Flood of 2019. We are Tits Out At The Colosseum for our new two-part format, Make Each Other Watch A Hatewatch. Part 1 is the Starz show Spartacus. There's very little clothing, a lot of fighting, and everyone is staying very close to everyone's thighs. We have no idea who this show is for, but we do know they're doing a lot of it. Tune in next week for Part 2 and find out who hated their lives more (spoiler alert: it was the cohost shouting over 3 industrial sized fans and a dehumidifier while it was 106 degrees in the studio!!!).

Flip That Romance

September 3rd, 2019  |  55 mins 29 secs

flip or flop, flip that romance, hallmark, hallmark channel, hallmark original movies, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hgtv, home and garden show, house flipping, made for tv movies, thought bubble audio, tv reviews

Your favorite hosts are back and here to unlock the Hallmark Channel algorithm as we dig deep into their HGTV fanfic movie, Flip That Romance. Whether you're into flipping or florist-ing, there's something here for everyone(???) as long as you're not a contractor looking for work in Portland. So pick up some art wood and join us on this adventure through a generic Pacific Northwest place as we learn about the best foliage for your kitchen island, voter fraud at the home and garden show, and how not to write a press release. Remember folks, with only one of their designs able to win the magazine spread, it could be that not only their duplex got renovated for the better but also their romance got flipped as well.

Jane the Virgin: The Finale Bind Off

August 27th, 2019  |  43 mins 19 secs

back to school, fall, gina rodriguez, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane, jane the virgin, jane villanueva, jtv, media, media criticism, petra solano, podcast, rafael solano, rogelio de la vega, series finale, summer, television, the cw, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv

Back to School, Back to Podcast, that's what we always say! We're back from our Second Annual Impromptu Summer Hiatus and we've got hot takes about seasonal beverages as well as the last season of Jane the Virgin. We're totally fine, and everything is fine this episode. We're fine with being done dirty by the format, we're fine with all the crying we did or did not do, and we're totally fine with everything we've ever felt along the way. IT'S DEFINITELY ALL FINE GUYS.

Below Deck Mediterranean & Hatewatch IRL: Snack Time

July 23rd, 2019  |  1 hr 11 mins

below deck, below deck med, below deck mediterranean, bravo, captain sandy, cereal, cheez-its, chips, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, reality shows, reality tv, salsa, snacks, television, thought bubble audio, tortilla chips, yachting, yachts

All crew! All crew! Please meet us in the bridge for a Hatewatch meeting!
Get ready to fill out your preference sheets and drink a whole bottle of wine because we've discovered Below Deck Mediterranean and we can't. stop. watching. After we're done admiring Captain Sandy's management skills, we get into it about snacks! From Cheez-Its to cereal to the qualifications for a good dip vessel, we've got it all (plus grammar lessons, because we are who we are). BONUS: Keep an ear out for the moment we learn we both love oysters! It was a really big day for us.

Meghan and Harry: A Royal Romance and Becoming Royal

July 8th, 2019  |  1 hr 25 mins

a royal romance, africa, duke of sussex, dutchess of sussex, feminism, girl power, glass ceiling, glass slippers, harry and meghan a royal romance, harry and meghan becoming royal, lifetime, lifetime movies, made for tv movie, meghan markle, prince harry, prince william, princess dianna, racism, television, television movies, the royal family

We are back from our spontaneous hiatus, and we are coming in hot with an olive branch....that is.....if that olive branch could be a symbolism lion. We do a lot of journalism about Lifetime's feelings about the television show Suits, symbolism sex boi lion aphrodisiacs, the time differential between this film hitting the editing room and the birth of a royal baby and whinging. Just remember girls, glass ceilings not glass slippers! T'wasn't easy but we're here to serve the people.

Eurovision 2019

May 30th, 2019  |  56 mins 16 secs

australia, czech republic, ebu, europe, europop, eurovision, eurovision grand final, geography, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, iceland, music contest, norway, podcast, pop music, song contest, thought bubble audio, trains, tutus, yodel it, zero gravity

It's that time of year again! That's right folks, Eurovision returned, and despite some streaming dilemmas we persevered to bring you some spicy hot Europop content. Speaking of spicy hot, we kick off with some neat oven safety tips, courtesy of Eurovision 2018. We don't condone drinking games, but if one were to play one, we might suggest they drink every time we call a performance "wild" this year. We bring you our favorites, our least favorites, and some side conversations about mens fashion, geography, and Kirstie's life on the rails. Check out some of our top performances at the links below, and remember, as they say in San Marino: Be a hero. Be the rainbow.

Australia, Zero Gravity: https://youtu.be/86tJJ1taitw
Norway, Spirit in the Sky: https://youtu.be/3EmUmbhDRiY
Switzerland, She Got Me: https://youtu.be/6PxoMWtAC7M
Czech Republic, Friend of a Friend: https://youtu.be/yH1-uy9FYKE
Romania, Yodel It (2017): https://youtu.be/LlDzaRK8fSM

Schitt's Creek

May 14th, 2019  |  1 hr 6 mins

a little bit alexis, alexis rose, arrested development, canada, canadian broadcasting corporation, cbc, david rose, john rose, lgbtq, moira rose, open mic night, pop, romance, romantic comedy, romcom, schitts creek, the gay agenda, tv guide network

Everything is fine this week as we roll the dice and stay up way past our knitting curfew to give Kelsey a space to yell about all the reasons she was right about Schitt's Creek. It's an act of gate keeping, friendship, self restraint and shitty railroads. We get hype about characters, place, romcoms, sitcoms, Canada, and the Gay Agenda. If you listen to our show because we hate stuff, this is not the episode for you. If you listen to our show and think, "man I wish you liked stuff sometimes?", then this is for you. Come for the salty salts, stay for the shiny clean grand romantic gestures.

Music & Lyrics and Someone Great

May 8th, 2019  |  56 mins 47 secs

drew barrymore, gina rodriguez, hallmark channel, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hugh grant, lifetime, millennials, music and lyrics, netflix, romantic comedies, romantic comedy, romcom, someone great, thought bubble audio

It's a romcomducation bonus episode! We're here to discuss the 2007 rom-com Music & Lyrics, starring our problematic fave, Hugh Grant. Mostly we just want to talk about how all we want to do is find a way back into loveeeeeee. Then we're jumping to some more timely, topical content and sharing our thoughts on Someone Great, a new Netflix original movie that was fine. As reporters in the target demo field, we discuss hangovers when you're 29, millennial home decor, and career depictions. We also snuck in some exciting previews for Hallmark Channel movies AND some choices Lifetime is making, so stay tuned for more there.

Game of Themes

April 24th, 2019  |  1 hr 4 mins

a christmas prince, catastrophe, character development, deadwood, downton abby, everwood, family dynamics, friday night lights, game of thrones, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hbo, john oliver, last week tonight with john oliver, media, media criticism, narrative, netflix, outlander, podcast, schitts creek, sparticus, starz, streaming, strong sexual content, television, the americans, the crown, themes, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv, veep, violence

As a member of society, you may or may not be subject to this dark time in television, as Game of Thrones is back on television and winter is here. We are dutifully recapping Game of Thrones over at our other podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, but in the interest of Alternative Content, we are here today to recommend content that scratches Game of Thrones' various itches. We cover themes such as Strong Sexual Content, Violence, House/Palace Intrigue, Unlikable Characters, and more! Find out which show we labled as the Hatewatch Superbowl, see how we justify talking about our faves for the millionth time in a new context, listen to Kirstie and Kelsey congratulate each other repeatedly for accomplishing the goal of episode format, and revel in the moment when Kirstie has to tell Kelsey she was right. From Westeros to Aldovia, there's some beef stew for everyone in this episode y'all.

Our Watch Has Ended: The First Official Episode, Bleed for the Brands

April 12th, 2019  |  57 mins 48 secs

american red cross, game of thrones, game of thrones season 8, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hbo, johhny walker, mountain dew, oreo, our watch has ended, podcast, shake shack, snowdonia, spoiler culture, spoilers, spotify, the daves, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, urban decay, valyrian

It's the first NEW episode of our NEW PODCAST, Our Watch Has Ended: A Game Of Thrones Hatewatch. You can subscribe at our new feed by searching for Our Watch Has Ended anywhere you find podcasts! Subscribe there for weekly episodes all through season 8!

It's been two years, but we are back at it with our favorite garbage show! Don't gaslight us about great houses, it's been a long time! As the hype builds, so do the brand partnerships, so we wanted to take a minute to talk about some of the crazy ways HBO has licensed Game of Thrones to trick you into BLEEDING FOR THE BRANDS. We discuss Oreo, Shake Shack, the American Red Cross, Mountain Dew, Urban Decay, Love Pop, Rolling Pins, Johnny Walker, and Spotify. How many houses are there? How do you fit a house on a cookie? We are bringing HOT LOOKS and HOT TAKES and dear god are we ready for this season to be over. Use the hashtag #hatewatchGOT to watch along with us!

Jane the Virgin and Abby's

April 2nd, 2019  |  1 hr 56 secs

abby's, abc, cheers, everwood, game of thrones, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, jane villanueva, michael cordero, mike schur, our watch has ended, outlander, podcast, romance, romcom, sitcom, telenovela, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv, tv pilot

This week we are two hosts who are feeling confident about what we have prepared for you: two shows that have names, a show that gives us feelings and a show that doesn't, and a rundown of the ways our heros have failed us. We watched Jane the Virgin and the new Mike Schur show Abby's. We've got an episode of our Everwood Podcast Within the Podcast, a lot to say about narrative stakes, and some broad and varied hot takes on television pilots.

Jane the Virgin spoilers end around 37-38 minutes.

Don't forget to subscribe to our new podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, for all of your Game of Thrones content!

Return to Cottage Life UK: Cabins in the Wild and House Doctor

March 27th, 2019  |  1 hr 15 mins

brojects, cabins in the wild, canada, cottage life, cottages, dick strawbridge, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, house doctor, maple syrup, netflix, podcast, snowdonia, television, thought bubble audio, tv

We're revisiting our favorite network in our hearts this week and have found some gems from Netflix's selection of Cottage Life UK content. However, we don't visit Netflix without generating a few gripes, and we have A LOT OF THEM because Netflix has unjustly removed Canadian Cottage Life from their offering. Once we get over our feelings about that (and begin our letter writing campaign), we meet our new friends Dick Strawbridge and Willie Fedora over at Cabins in the Wild. This segment includes Dragon themed cabins, live reports from Snowdonia National Park, and everybody's favorite time - Kirstie and Kelsey google some things about pioneer life. Then we move on to House Doctor (how can I help?), where we meet yet another bag of dicks, Grumpy Old Dickie. We learn a lot about rooms with a point of view and our point of view is that this show is a disaster. This episode wraps up with a discussion of the maple syrup grading system, so don't miss that. Happy sugaring season, y'all!

Don't forget to check out our new Game of Thrones recap podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, wherever you're listening to this podcast!

The Night Shift and Manifest

March 14th, 2019  |  1 hr 1 min

broadcast, everwood, hallmark, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, manifest, night shift, television, the night shift, thought bubble audio, treat williams, tv, tv drama

This week, we're judging NBC and their choices in the drama category from the past few years. First, we're talking about two buuuckwild episodes of The Night Shift, a summer medical/military drama that just did a lot of things badly. Next up is Manifest, a disaster drama that's also very bad and features heavy amounts of Jesus. But never fear! We have some unexpected Jane the Virgin feels and even more unexpected TREATS, so make sure to stick around til the end.

Legends of Tomorrow and Everwood

March 5th, 2019  |  48 mins 21 secs

comics, cw, cw seed, dc, everwood, greg berlanti, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, legends of tomorrow, marvel, podcast, romcoms, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, time travel, wb

Thanks to a listener suggestion, we spend this week's episode down a rabbit hole known as the WB Then and Now, Pilot Palooza Bonus Round, Make Kirstie Watch An Everwood, or The Greg Berlanti Factor. We bring you in depth reporting such as show runner horoscopes, Comics vs RomComs, and Legends of Eurovision. Kirstie says "tonality" a lot so you know it has to be good! Then we finally talk about Kelsey's heart and soul, Everwood. Doc Brown comes to comfort us, and we sling some Hot Hallmark Takes and argue about Schitt's Creek. Like any small town, this episode has a lot of heart. Stay tuned for an announcement about our new project, pending the resolution of our endless struggle against A Major Podcast Distributer!