Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show for Sarcastic People

Eurovision 2019

May 30th, 2019  |  56 mins 16 secs

australia, czech republic, ebu, europe, europop, eurovision, eurovision grand final, geography, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, iceland, music contest, norway, podcast, pop music, song contest, thought bubble audio, trains, tutus, yodel it, zero gravity

It's that time of year again! That's right folks, Eurovision returned, and despite some streaming dilemmas we persevered to bring you some spicy hot Europop content. Speaking of spicy hot, we kick off with some neat oven safety tips, courtesy of Eurovision 2018. We don't condone drinking games, but if one were to play one, we might suggest they drink every time we call a performance "wild" this year. We bring you our favorites, our least favorites, and some side conversations about mens fashion, geography, and Kirstie's life on the rails. Check out some of our top performances at the links below, and remember, as they say in San Marino: Be a hero. Be the rainbow.

Australia, Zero Gravity: https://youtu.be/86tJJ1taitw
Norway, Spirit in the Sky: https://youtu.be/3EmUmbhDRiY
Switzerland, She Got Me: https://youtu.be/6PxoMWtAC7M
Czech Republic, Friend of a Friend: https://youtu.be/yH1-uy9FYKE
Romania, Yodel It (2017): https://youtu.be/LlDzaRK8fSM

Schitt's Creek

May 14th, 2019  |  1 hr 6 mins

a little bit alexis, alexis rose, arrested development, canada, canadian broadcasting corporation, cbc, david rose, john rose, lgbtq, moira rose, open mic night, pop, romance, romantic comedy, romcom, schitts creek, the gay agenda, tv guide network

Everything is fine this week as we roll the dice and stay up way past our knitting curfew to give Kelsey a space to yell about all the reasons she was right about Schitt's Creek. It's an act of gate keeping, friendship, self restraint and shitty railroads. We get hype about characters, place, romcoms, sitcoms, Canada, and the Gay Agenda. If you listen to our show because we hate stuff, this is not the episode for you. If you listen to our show and think, "man I wish you liked stuff sometimes?", then this is for you. Come for the salty salts, stay for the shiny clean grand romantic gestures.

Music & Lyrics and Someone Great

May 8th, 2019  |  56 mins 47 secs

drew barrymore, gina rodriguez, hallmark channel, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hugh grant, lifetime, millennials, music and lyrics, netflix, romantic comedies, romantic comedy, romcom, someone great, thought bubble audio

It's a romcomducation bonus episode! We're here to discuss the 2007 rom-com Music & Lyrics, starring our problematic fave, Hugh Grant. Mostly we just want to talk about how all we want to do is find a way back into loveeeeeee. Then we're jumping to some more timely, topical content and sharing our thoughts on Someone Great, a new Netflix original movie that was fine. As reporters in the target demo field, we discuss hangovers when you're 29, millennial home decor, and career depictions. We also snuck in some exciting previews for Hallmark Channel movies AND some choices Lifetime is making, so stay tuned for more there.

Game of Themes

April 24th, 2019  |  1 hr 4 mins

a christmas prince, catastrophe, character development, deadwood, downton abby, everwood, family dynamics, friday night lights, game of thrones, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hbo, john oliver, last week tonight with john oliver, media, media criticism, narrative, netflix, outlander, podcast, schitts creek, sparticus, starz, streaming, strong sexual content, television, the americans, the crown, themes, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv, veep, violence

As a member of society, you may or may not be subject to this dark time in television, as Game of Thrones is back on television and winter is here. We are dutifully recapping Game of Thrones over at our other podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, but in the interest of Alternative Content, we are here today to recommend content that scratches Game of Thrones' various itches. We cover themes such as Strong Sexual Content, Violence, House/Palace Intrigue, Unlikable Characters, and more! Find out which show we labled as the Hatewatch Superbowl, see how we justify talking about our faves for the millionth time in a new context, listen to Kirstie and Kelsey congratulate each other repeatedly for accomplishing the goal of episode format, and revel in the moment when Kirstie has to tell Kelsey she was right. From Westeros to Aldovia, there's some beef stew for everyone in this episode y'all.

Our Watch Has Ended: The First Official Episode, Bleed for the Brands

April 12th, 2019  |  57 mins 48 secs

american red cross, game of thrones, game of thrones season 8, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hbo, johhny walker, mountain dew, oreo, our watch has ended, podcast, shake shack, snowdonia, spoiler culture, spoilers, spotify, the daves, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, urban decay, valyrian

It's the first NEW episode of our NEW PODCAST, Our Watch Has Ended: A Game Of Thrones Hatewatch. You can subscribe at our new feed by searching for Our Watch Has Ended anywhere you find podcasts! Subscribe there for weekly episodes all through season 8!

It's been two years, but we are back at it with our favorite garbage show! Don't gaslight us about great houses, it's been a long time! As the hype builds, so do the brand partnerships, so we wanted to take a minute to talk about some of the crazy ways HBO has licensed Game of Thrones to trick you into BLEEDING FOR THE BRANDS. We discuss Oreo, Shake Shack, the American Red Cross, Mountain Dew, Urban Decay, Love Pop, Rolling Pins, Johnny Walker, and Spotify. How many houses are there? How do you fit a house on a cookie? We are bringing HOT LOOKS and HOT TAKES and dear god are we ready for this season to be over. Use the hashtag #hatewatchGOT to watch along with us!

Jane the Virgin and Abby's

April 2nd, 2019  |  1 hr 56 secs

abby's, abc, cheers, everwood, game of thrones, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, jane villanueva, michael cordero, mike schur, our watch has ended, outlander, podcast, romance, romcom, sitcom, telenovela, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv, tv pilot

This week we are two hosts who are feeling confident about what we have prepared for you: two shows that have names, a show that gives us feelings and a show that doesn't, and a rundown of the ways our heros have failed us. We watched Jane the Virgin and the new Mike Schur show Abby's. We've got an episode of our Everwood Podcast Within the Podcast, a lot to say about narrative stakes, and some broad and varied hot takes on television pilots.

Jane the Virgin spoilers end around 37-38 minutes.

Don't forget to subscribe to our new podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, for all of your Game of Thrones content!

Return to Cottage Life UK: Cabins in the Wild and House Doctor

March 27th, 2019  |  1 hr 15 mins

brojects, cabins in the wild, canada, cottage life, cottages, dick strawbridge, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, house doctor, maple syrup, netflix, podcast, snowdonia, television, thought bubble audio, tv

We're revisiting our favorite network in our hearts this week and have found some gems from Netflix's selection of Cottage Life UK content. However, we don't visit Netflix without generating a few gripes, and we have A LOT OF THEM because Netflix has unjustly removed Canadian Cottage Life from their offering. Once we get over our feelings about that (and begin our letter writing campaign), we meet our new friends Dick Strawbridge and Willie Fedora over at Cabins in the Wild. This segment includes Dragon themed cabins, live reports from Snowdonia National Park, and everybody's favorite time - Kirstie and Kelsey google some things about pioneer life. Then we move on to House Doctor (how can I help?), where we meet yet another bag of dicks, Grumpy Old Dickie. We learn a lot about rooms with a point of view and our point of view is that this show is a disaster. This episode wraps up with a discussion of the maple syrup grading system, so don't miss that. Happy sugaring season, y'all!

Don't forget to check out our new Game of Thrones recap podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, wherever you're listening to this podcast!

The Night Shift and Manifest

March 14th, 2019  |  1 hr 1 min

broadcast, everwood, hallmark, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, manifest, night shift, television, the night shift, thought bubble audio, treat williams, tv, tv drama

This week, we're judging NBC and their choices in the drama category from the past few years. First, we're talking about two buuuckwild episodes of The Night Shift, a summer medical/military drama that just did a lot of things badly. Next up is Manifest, a disaster drama that's also very bad and features heavy amounts of Jesus. But never fear! We have some unexpected Jane the Virgin feels and even more unexpected TREATS, so make sure to stick around til the end.

Legends of Tomorrow and Everwood

March 5th, 2019  |  48 mins 21 secs

comics, cw, cw seed, dc, everwood, greg berlanti, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, legends of tomorrow, marvel, podcast, romcoms, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, time travel, wb

Thanks to a listener suggestion, we spend this week's episode down a rabbit hole known as the WB Then and Now, Pilot Palooza Bonus Round, Make Kirstie Watch An Everwood, or The Greg Berlanti Factor. We bring you in depth reporting such as show runner horoscopes, Comics vs RomComs, and Legends of Eurovision. Kirstie says "tonality" a lot so you know it has to be good! Then we finally talk about Kelsey's heart and soul, Everwood. Doc Brown comes to comfort us, and we sling some Hot Hallmark Takes and argue about Schitt's Creek. Like any small town, this episode has a lot of heart. Stay tuned for an announcement about our new project, pending the resolution of our endless struggle against A Major Podcast Distributer!

Sweet Home Alabama and Sitcom Living Rooms

February 27th, 2019  |  1 hr 5 mins

early 2000s, friends, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, how i met your mother, living room, podcast, rom com, romantic comedy, romcom, roseanne, sitcom, sweet home alabama

It's a real grab bag of hatewatch nostalgia this week! Fate leads us to revisit Kirstie's "favorite romcom of all time," Sweet Home Alabama, and we have some thoughts about low rise flare jeans and jokes that make us uncomfortable in 2019. After a brief discussion about novelty Instagram belts we have a chat about the living rooms of sitcoms, because nobody likes a high end finish like Hatewatch With Us. Come for True American, the safety version, stay for... a teaser of our new side project? Stay tuned for more details coming soon!

Stay Here and Instant Hotel

February 20th, 2019  |  1 hr 8 mins

airbnb, australia, genevieve gorder, hate watch, hatewatch with us, hotels, instant hotel, netflix, netflix what have you done, podcast, stay here, streaming, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, travel, tv, vacation rental, vrbo

It's the Five Star Podcast experience for the Five Star guest. Luxury! Social Media Moments! Relax and recharge in this chic episode with beautiful, expansive views of the Netflix shows Stay Here and Instant Hotel. Whether you love a knitting show or are looking for the opposite of shows about nice people only, this episode has something for every guest. Enjoy premium features such as Strong Sexual Content Barbie, a lesson on thrummed mittens, and Kirstie and Kelsey Google.

Tidying Up with Marie Kondo and A Winter Princess

February 12th, 2019  |  1 hr 12 mins

a winter princess, hallmark, hallmark winterfest, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, konmari, landora, marie kondo, netflix, netflix what have you done, podcast, sam heughan, spark joy, sparking joy, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tidying up, tidying up with marie kondo, winter princess

Before we begin this episode, let's take a moment to greet the podcast home. You know what that means: it's finally time to talk Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. Spark joy with us on this adventure as Kirstie spends the entire episode masterfully avoiding admitting that she's wrong about how many steps there are in the KonMari method. Then we move on to kimono, which is actually just the Hallmark Channel. We discovered A Winter Princess (Winter for Princess? The Winter of Princess?) and we are here to tell you that it is a delight. Hallmark really phones it in in the wake of Hallmark Christmas, giving us the gift of our favorite fake European country of all time. So tune in for that big reveal, and if it sparks joy for you, consider entering us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit contest! https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

Pilot Palooza 2018

February 4th, 2019  |  1 hr 26 mins

abc, charity crossfit, coldplay, fix you, glow, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, killing eve, last man standing, media, nbc, netflix, new amsterdam, outlander, pilots, podcast, sam heughan, sharp objects, starz, streaming, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, timeless, tv, vida

It's that time of year where we look at the television landscape, put on our best White Savior Doctor lab coats and say, "How can I help?" We entered our third Pilot Palooza with a lot of hopes and dreams, and as it turned out nothing was our shit. After getting our squirrel on with this year's batch of shows, we may just need a montage to Coldplay's Fix You, a time machine, or a collection of tiny boxes which spark joy. We watched New Amsterdam, Timeless, Glow, Sharp Objects, Vida, Killing Eve, and checked in briefly with Last Man Standing, play a quick round of Hot Or Tall, talk about a lot of other shows we would have rather been watching that weren't on the list, and nominate this year's Downward Dog because as always our heros have failed us. Let us know if there are any pilots we missed in 2018, and let us know throughout 2019 what shows you'll want us to watch! If you liked Pilot Palooza you still have two more weeks to enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest!: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

Bind Off: Outlander Season 4

January 27th, 2019  |  53 mins 34 secs

bind off, brianna randall, catriona balfe, claire fraser, frasers ridge, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jamie fraser, john bell, lord john gray, mathew b roberts, outlander, outlander recap, outlander season 4, podcast, roger, sam heughan, starz, streaming, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, thunderpants, tv

Like the mustache on a young hero's face or the thunder in one's pants, we have arrived once again at the end of another season of Outlander. Join us as we trade our gloats and gripes for the season and try to come to terms with challenging ideas such as actual human emotions, facial expressions, drawing, and sad tent sex. Joy was sparked, rage was raged, and the Strong Sexual Content was the Actually Just Normal Feelings We Felt About Sam Heughan's Face along the way. If you want to see us follow up on the very important Outlander thesis presented in this episode, enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

Pilot Palooza coming next week, we swear!

The 2018 Really F*cking Good Television Awards Show (For Nice People Only)

January 16th, 2019  |  1 hr 17 mins

awards for nice people only, brooklyn 99, grand designs, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, mary portas, netflix, outlander, sam heughan, superstore, television awards, the americans, the good place, tv, tv awards

We survived post-holiday laziness, a laggy connection, poor editing choices, and the flu to get this episode out there to y’all, but we finally did it! We’re wrapping up 2018 with everybody’s favorite awards show, The Really F%cking Good Television Awards Show (For Nice People Only). Highlights include an in-depth discussion of our DVR romance, Kelsey’s Target boner, the reveal of Mr. Hot Or Tall 2018, and some sneaky little Eurovision easter eggs. Thanks for hatewatching with us through another year, y’all! We’ll be back soon for Pilot Palooza 2019!

The Christmas Chronicles and A Christmas Prince 2: The Royal Wedding

December 18th, 2018  |  1 hr 14 mins

1492 productions, aldovia, chris columbus, christmas chronicles, christmas movies, christmas prince, christmas prince 2, conga lines, drunk santa, hatewatch, hatewatch christmas, hatewatch with us, jc chasez, netflix, netflix christmas, ron moore, royal wedding, wedding designer

Y'all better buckle up because drunk Santa is driving this podcast sleigh this week. In this very special episode of Netflix, What Have You Done? Christmas Edition, we're airing our grievances about The Christmas Chronicles and A Christmas Prince 2: The Royal Wedding. But it's not just DTF Santa and Aldovian wedding planning over here at Hatewatch HQ. Somehow, this episode takes us from Chris Columbus The Entity to JC Chasez's discography, desperate pleas to Ron Moore, and even a very special Hugh Grant deep cut (Hugh, where were you in Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again!????). If you've enjoyed our Hatewatch Christmas journalism, enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night