Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show for Sarcastic People

Game of Themes

April 24th, 2019  |  1 hr 4 mins

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As a member of society, you may or may not be subject to this dark time in television, as Game of Thrones is back on television and winter is here. We are dutifully recapping Game of Thrones over at our other podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, but in the interest of Alternative Content, we are here today to recommend content that scratches Game of Thrones' various itches. We cover themes such as Strong Sexual Content, Violence, House/Palace Intrigue, Unlikable Characters, and more! Find out which show we labled as the Hatewatch Superbowl, see how we justify talking about our faves for the millionth time in a new context, listen to Kirstie and Kelsey congratulate each other repeatedly for accomplishing the goal of episode format, and revel in the moment when Kirstie has to tell Kelsey she was right. From Westeros to Aldovia, there's some beef stew for everyone in this episode y'all.

Jane the Virgin and Abby's

April 2nd, 2019  |  1 hr 56 secs

abby's, abc, cheers, everwood, game of thrones, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, jane villanueva, michael cordero, mike schur, our watch has ended, outlander, podcast, romance, romcom, sitcom, telenovela, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv, tv pilot

This week we are two hosts who are feeling confident about what we have prepared for you: two shows that have names, a show that gives us feelings and a show that doesn't, and a rundown of the ways our heros have failed us. We watched Jane the Virgin and the new Mike Schur show Abby's. We've got an episode of our Everwood Podcast Within the Podcast, a lot to say about narrative stakes, and some broad and varied hot takes on television pilots.

Jane the Virgin spoilers end around 37-38 minutes.

Don't forget to subscribe to our new podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, for all of your Game of Thrones content!

Return to Cottage Life UK: Cabins in the Wild and House Doctor

March 27th, 2019  |  1 hr 15 mins

brojects, cabins in the wild, canada, cottage life, cottages, dick strawbridge, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, house doctor, maple syrup, netflix, podcast, snowdonia, television, thought bubble audio, tv

We're revisiting our favorite network in our hearts this week and have found some gems from Netflix's selection of Cottage Life UK content. However, we don't visit Netflix without generating a few gripes, and we have A LOT OF THEM because Netflix has unjustly removed Canadian Cottage Life from their offering. Once we get over our feelings about that (and begin our letter writing campaign), we meet our new friends Dick Strawbridge and Willie Fedora over at Cabins in the Wild. This segment includes Dragon themed cabins, live reports from Snowdonia National Park, and everybody's favorite time - Kirstie and Kelsey google some things about pioneer life. Then we move on to House Doctor (how can I help?), where we meet yet another bag of dicks, Grumpy Old Dickie. We learn a lot about rooms with a point of view and our point of view is that this show is a disaster. This episode wraps up with a discussion of the maple syrup grading system, so don't miss that. Happy sugaring season, y'all!

Don't forget to check out our new Game of Thrones recap podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, wherever you're listening to this podcast!

The Night Shift and Manifest

March 14th, 2019  |  1 hr 1 min

broadcast, everwood, hallmark, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, manifest, night shift, television, the night shift, thought bubble audio, treat williams, tv, tv drama

This week, we're judging NBC and their choices in the drama category from the past few years. First, we're talking about two buuuckwild episodes of The Night Shift, a summer medical/military drama that just did a lot of things badly. Next up is Manifest, a disaster drama that's also very bad and features heavy amounts of Jesus. But never fear! We have some unexpected Jane the Virgin feels and even more unexpected TREATS, so make sure to stick around til the end.

Legends of Tomorrow and Everwood

March 5th, 2019  |  48 mins 21 secs

comics, cw, cw seed, dc, everwood, greg berlanti, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, legends of tomorrow, marvel, podcast, romcoms, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, time travel, wb

Thanks to a listener suggestion, we spend this week's episode down a rabbit hole known as the WB Then and Now, Pilot Palooza Bonus Round, Make Kirstie Watch An Everwood, or The Greg Berlanti Factor. We bring you in depth reporting such as show runner horoscopes, Comics vs RomComs, and Legends of Eurovision. Kirstie says "tonality" a lot so you know it has to be good! Then we finally talk about Kelsey's heart and soul, Everwood. Doc Brown comes to comfort us, and we sling some Hot Hallmark Takes and argue about Schitt's Creek. Like any small town, this episode has a lot of heart. Stay tuned for an announcement about our new project, pending the resolution of our endless struggle against A Major Podcast Distributer!

Stay Here and Instant Hotel

February 20th, 2019  |  1 hr 8 mins

airbnb, australia, genevieve gorder, hate watch, hatewatch with us, hotels, instant hotel, netflix, netflix what have you done, podcast, stay here, streaming, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, travel, tv, vacation rental, vrbo

It's the Five Star Podcast experience for the Five Star guest. Luxury! Social Media Moments! Relax and recharge in this chic episode with beautiful, expansive views of the Netflix shows Stay Here and Instant Hotel. Whether you love a knitting show or are looking for the opposite of shows about nice people only, this episode has something for every guest. Enjoy premium features such as Strong Sexual Content Barbie, a lesson on thrummed mittens, and Kirstie and Kelsey Google.

Pilot Palooza 2018

February 4th, 2019  |  1 hr 26 mins

abc, charity crossfit, coldplay, fix you, glow, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, killing eve, last man standing, media, nbc, netflix, new amsterdam, outlander, pilots, podcast, sam heughan, sharp objects, starz, streaming, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, timeless, tv, vida

It's that time of year where we look at the television landscape, put on our best White Savior Doctor lab coats and say, "How can I help?" We entered our third Pilot Palooza with a lot of hopes and dreams, and as it turned out nothing was our shit. After getting our squirrel on with this year's batch of shows, we may just need a montage to Coldplay's Fix You, a time machine, or a collection of tiny boxes which spark joy. We watched New Amsterdam, Timeless, Glow, Sharp Objects, Vida, Killing Eve, and checked in briefly with Last Man Standing, play a quick round of Hot Or Tall, talk about a lot of other shows we would have rather been watching that weren't on the list, and nominate this year's Downward Dog because as always our heros have failed us. Let us know if there are any pilots we missed in 2018, and let us know throughout 2019 what shows you'll want us to watch! If you liked Pilot Palooza you still have two more weeks to enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest!: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

Bind Off: Outlander Season 4

January 27th, 2019  |  53 mins 34 secs

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Like the mustache on a young hero's face or the thunder in one's pants, we have arrived once again at the end of another season of Outlander. Join us as we trade our gloats and gripes for the season and try to come to terms with challenging ideas such as actual human emotions, facial expressions, drawing, and sad tent sex. Joy was sparked, rage was raged, and the Strong Sexual Content was the Actually Just Normal Feelings We Felt About Sam Heughan's Face along the way. If you want to see us follow up on the very important Outlander thesis presented in this episode, enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

Pilot Palooza coming next week, we swear!

Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe and A Shoe Addict's Christmas

December 11th, 2018  |  1 hr 38 secs

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It's our last installment of Hatewatch Hallmark before moving on to the endless bounty of off-brand Christmas movies, so we are coming in hot this week. We start with the sequel to our Outlander Store Dot Com special: A Novice's Guide to Destiny Dice and honestly we feel this should have been its own segment because it had way more to offer than either of the films we watched. We then move on to Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe where we had a lot of questions about our stock options next fiscal year. Before long we are visited by the Ghost of Jean Smart Past, Future, and Present, and were transported to A Shoe Addict's Christmas where Kelsey bestowed upon us the gift of her Candance impression and ERHMERHGERD did we dig up an old ass meme. If you too would like to redo your past in answer to your calling from God by your guardian angel Jean Smart, enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

Bind Off: Outlander Season 4 Premier

November 8th, 2018  |  48 mins 18 secs

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Droughtlander is over folks! We are binding off the season premier of Outlander and we're kicking it off with our greatest hits: Sam Heughan's tight white pants, tricorns, Starz market research, Sam Heughan market research, and heated debates about the quality of boning. We'll check in again formally at midseason, but look forward to every episode for the next 13 weeks being an Outlander episode! If you enjoyed this episode/the show, please enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest!: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night