Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show for Sarcastic People

Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club: Make Each Other Watch A Hatewatch Part 2

October 7th, 2019  |  46 mins 5 secs

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We're back (on schedule!) for Part 2 of our regrettable series, Make Each Other Watch A Hatewatch. This week, Kelsey has a moral crisis about watching TV on a laptop as we discuss the MTV series Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club. We're so traumatized by the whole thing that we might buy a whole beach in Mykonos. So join us for hot Annie James takes, Lohan Group empire business updates, and ultimately more discussions of Below Deck Mediterranean. And remember, if you want to be our brand ambassador, please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts!

Spartacus: Make Each Other Watch A Hatewatch Part 1

October 1st, 2019  |  37 mins 28 secs

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In celebration of International Podcast Day (ish), we officially return from our third unexpected hiatus this year with the 10 hour movie that is the Great Poop Tub Flood of 2019. We are Tits Out At The Colosseum for our new two-part format, Make Each Other Watch A Hatewatch. Part 1 is the Starz show Spartacus. There's very little clothing, a lot of fighting, and everyone is staying very close to everyone's thighs. We have no idea who this show is for, but we do know they're doing a lot of it. Tune in next week for Part 2 and find out who hated their lives more (spoiler alert: it was the cohost shouting over 3 industrial sized fans and a dehumidifier while it was 106 degrees in the studio!!!).

Jane the Virgin: The Finale Bind Off

August 27th, 2019  |  43 mins 19 secs

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Back to School, Back to Podcast, that's what we always say! We're back from our Second Annual Impromptu Summer Hiatus and we've got hot takes about seasonal beverages as well as the last season of Jane the Virgin. We're totally fine, and everything is fine this episode. We're fine with being done dirty by the format, we're fine with all the crying we did or did not do, and we're totally fine with everything we've ever felt along the way. IT'S DEFINITELY ALL FINE GUYS.

Below Deck Mediterranean & Hatewatch IRL: Snack Time

July 23rd, 2019  |  1 hr 11 mins

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All crew! All crew! Please meet us in the bridge for a Hatewatch meeting!
Get ready to fill out your preference sheets and drink a whole bottle of wine because we've discovered Below Deck Mediterranean and we can't. stop. watching. After we're done admiring Captain Sandy's management skills, we get into it about snacks! From Cheez-Its to cereal to the qualifications for a good dip vessel, we've got it all (plus grammar lessons, because we are who we are). BONUS: Keep an ear out for the moment we learn we both love oysters! It was a really big day for us.

Meghan and Harry: A Royal Romance and Becoming Royal

July 8th, 2019  |  1 hr 25 mins

a royal romance, africa, duke of sussex, dutchess of sussex, feminism, girl power, glass ceiling, glass slippers, harry and meghan a royal romance, harry and meghan becoming royal, lifetime, lifetime movies, made for tv movie, meghan markle, prince harry, prince william, princess dianna, racism, television, television movies, the royal family

We are back from our spontaneous hiatus, and we are coming in hot with an olive branch....that is.....if that olive branch could be a symbolism lion. We do a lot of journalism about Lifetime's feelings about the television show Suits, symbolism sex boi lion aphrodisiacs, the time differential between this film hitting the editing room and the birth of a royal baby and whinging. Just remember girls, glass ceilings not glass slippers! T'wasn't easy but we're here to serve the people.

Game of Themes

April 24th, 2019  |  1 hr 4 mins

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As a member of society, you may or may not be subject to this dark time in television, as Game of Thrones is back on television and winter is here. We are dutifully recapping Game of Thrones over at our other podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, but in the interest of Alternative Content, we are here today to recommend content that scratches Game of Thrones' various itches. We cover themes such as Strong Sexual Content, Violence, House/Palace Intrigue, Unlikable Characters, and more! Find out which show we labled as the Hatewatch Superbowl, see how we justify talking about our faves for the millionth time in a new context, listen to Kirstie and Kelsey congratulate each other repeatedly for accomplishing the goal of episode format, and revel in the moment when Kirstie has to tell Kelsey she was right. From Westeros to Aldovia, there's some beef stew for everyone in this episode y'all.

Jane the Virgin and Abby's

April 2nd, 2019  |  1 hr 56 secs

abby's, abc, cheers, everwood, game of thrones, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, jane villanueva, michael cordero, mike schur, our watch has ended, outlander, podcast, romance, romcom, sitcom, telenovela, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv, tv pilot

This week we are two hosts who are feeling confident about what we have prepared for you: two shows that have names, a show that gives us feelings and a show that doesn't, and a rundown of the ways our heros have failed us. We watched Jane the Virgin and the new Mike Schur show Abby's. We've got an episode of our Everwood Podcast Within the Podcast, a lot to say about narrative stakes, and some broad and varied hot takes on television pilots.

Jane the Virgin spoilers end around 37-38 minutes.

Don't forget to subscribe to our new podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, for all of your Game of Thrones content!

Return to Cottage Life UK: Cabins in the Wild and House Doctor

March 27th, 2019  |  1 hr 15 mins

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We're revisiting our favorite network in our hearts this week and have found some gems from Netflix's selection of Cottage Life UK content. However, we don't visit Netflix without generating a few gripes, and we have A LOT OF THEM because Netflix has unjustly removed Canadian Cottage Life from their offering. Once we get over our feelings about that (and begin our letter writing campaign), we meet our new friends Dick Strawbridge and Willie Fedora over at Cabins in the Wild. This segment includes Dragon themed cabins, live reports from Snowdonia National Park, and everybody's favorite time - Kirstie and Kelsey google some things about pioneer life. Then we move on to House Doctor (how can I help?), where we meet yet another bag of dicks, Grumpy Old Dickie. We learn a lot about rooms with a point of view and our point of view is that this show is a disaster. This episode wraps up with a discussion of the maple syrup grading system, so don't miss that. Happy sugaring season, y'all!

Don't forget to check out our new Game of Thrones recap podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, wherever you're listening to this podcast!

The Night Shift and Manifest

March 14th, 2019  |  1 hr 1 min

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This week, we're judging NBC and their choices in the drama category from the past few years. First, we're talking about two buuuckwild episodes of The Night Shift, a summer medical/military drama that just did a lot of things badly. Next up is Manifest, a disaster drama that's also very bad and features heavy amounts of Jesus. But never fear! We have some unexpected Jane the Virgin feels and even more unexpected TREATS, so make sure to stick around til the end.

Legends of Tomorrow and Everwood

March 5th, 2019  |  48 mins 21 secs

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Thanks to a listener suggestion, we spend this week's episode down a rabbit hole known as the WB Then and Now, Pilot Palooza Bonus Round, Make Kirstie Watch An Everwood, or The Greg Berlanti Factor. We bring you in depth reporting such as show runner horoscopes, Comics vs RomComs, and Legends of Eurovision. Kirstie says "tonality" a lot so you know it has to be good! Then we finally talk about Kelsey's heart and soul, Everwood. Doc Brown comes to comfort us, and we sling some Hot Hallmark Takes and argue about Schitt's Creek. Like any small town, this episode has a lot of heart. Stay tuned for an announcement about our new project, pending the resolution of our endless struggle against A Major Podcast Distributer!