Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show for Sarcastic People

Game of Themes

April 24th, 2019  |  1 hr 4 mins

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As a member of society, you may or may not be subject to this dark time in television, as Game of Thrones is back on television and winter is here. We are dutifully recapping Game of Thrones over at our other podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, but in the interest of Alternative Content, we are here today to recommend content that scratches Game of Thrones' various itches. We cover themes such as Strong Sexual Content, Violence, House/Palace Intrigue, Unlikable Characters, and more! Find out which show we labled as the Hatewatch Superbowl, see how we justify talking about our faves for the millionth time in a new context, listen to Kirstie and Kelsey congratulate each other repeatedly for accomplishing the goal of episode format, and revel in the moment when Kirstie has to tell Kelsey she was right. From Westeros to Aldovia, there's some beef stew for everyone in this episode y'all.

Stay Here and Instant Hotel

February 20th, 2019  |  1 hr 8 mins

airbnb, australia, genevieve gorder, hate watch, hatewatch with us, hotels, instant hotel, netflix, netflix what have you done, podcast, stay here, streaming, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, travel, tv, vacation rental, vrbo

It's the Five Star Podcast experience for the Five Star guest. Luxury! Social Media Moments! Relax and recharge in this chic episode with beautiful, expansive views of the Netflix shows Stay Here and Instant Hotel. Whether you love a knitting show or are looking for the opposite of shows about nice people only, this episode has something for every guest. Enjoy premium features such as Strong Sexual Content Barbie, a lesson on thrummed mittens, and Kirstie and Kelsey Google.

Pilot Palooza 2018

February 4th, 2019  |  1 hr 26 mins

abc, charity crossfit, coldplay, fix you, glow, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, jane the virgin, killing eve, last man standing, media, nbc, netflix, new amsterdam, outlander, pilots, podcast, sam heughan, sharp objects, starz, streaming, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, timeless, tv, vida

It's that time of year where we look at the television landscape, put on our best White Savior Doctor lab coats and say, "How can I help?" We entered our third Pilot Palooza with a lot of hopes and dreams, and as it turned out nothing was our shit. After getting our squirrel on with this year's batch of shows, we may just need a montage to Coldplay's Fix You, a time machine, or a collection of tiny boxes which spark joy. We watched New Amsterdam, Timeless, Glow, Sharp Objects, Vida, Killing Eve, and checked in briefly with Last Man Standing, play a quick round of Hot Or Tall, talk about a lot of other shows we would have rather been watching that weren't on the list, and nominate this year's Downward Dog because as always our heros have failed us. Let us know if there are any pilots we missed in 2018, and let us know throughout 2019 what shows you'll want us to watch! If you liked Pilot Palooza you still have two more weeks to enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest!: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

Bind Off: Outlander Season 4

January 27th, 2019  |  53 mins 34 secs

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Like the mustache on a young hero's face or the thunder in one's pants, we have arrived once again at the end of another season of Outlander. Join us as we trade our gloats and gripes for the season and try to come to terms with challenging ideas such as actual human emotions, facial expressions, drawing, and sad tent sex. Joy was sparked, rage was raged, and the Strong Sexual Content was the Actually Just Normal Feelings We Felt About Sam Heughan's Face along the way. If you want to see us follow up on the very important Outlander thesis presented in this episode, enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

Pilot Palooza coming next week, we swear!

Bind Off: Outlander Season 4 Premier

November 8th, 2018  |  48 mins 18 secs

claire fraser, craigh na dun, droughtlander, jamie fraser, outlander, podlander, premium cable, sam heughan, spy who dumped me, starz, streaming, television, tv

Droughtlander is over folks! We are binding off the season premier of Outlander and we're kicking it off with our greatest hits: Sam Heughan's tight white pants, tricorns, Starz market research, Sam Heughan market research, and heated debates about the quality of boning. We'll check in again formally at midseason, but look forward to every episode for the next 13 weeks being an Outlander episode! If you enjoyed this episode/the show, please enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest!: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

American Girl Stories: Ivy and Melody

October 31st, 2018  |  50 mins 52 secs

addy, amazon, american girl, american girl doll, canada, children movies, civil rights, content, felicity, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, ivy, josephine, julie, logan, media, melody, molly, movies, podcast, samantha, streaming, thought bubble, thought bubble audio

This Halloween we bring you only the spoo000o0o0o0o0o0o00kiest content: an episode a week late, more American Girl movies, and yet another installment of Listen to Kirstie and Kelsey Look at the Internet! We BYOB'd our American Girl stories and learned about gymnastics, civil rights, and ourselves. Discover important changes to the American Girl branding and line up, and don't forget to tell us YOUR American Girl Story!

Hallmark Christmas Preview and Little Italy

October 16th, 2018  |  1 hr 3 mins

candace cameron-bure, christmas in evergreen, christmas movies, emma roberts, film, gingerbread romance, google, hallmark, hallmark christmas, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, hayden christianson, lacey chabert, letters to santa, little italy, made for tv movies, media, movie, podcast, reviews, sand, streaming, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, vermont

This week's episode is a testiment to women who have it all and the compromises they have to make, such as finding the time to record an entire episode in one sitting. In our first recording session we bring you your favorite segment, Listen to Kirstie and Kelsey Google, and react in real time to the 2018 Hallmark Christmas movie lineup. There are several hot titles we're looking forward to including apperances from at least one Candace. In our second recording, we bring you the Film That Was promised: Little Italy. We beg you, do not watch this movie but do listen to this segment because we've got bespoke rooftop garden lamps, organic pizza dreams, taking shots while playing sexy rain soccer, wet armpit make outs, The Best Pizza Competition, and lots of premade dough. We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.

Return from Hiatus and Netflix, What Have You Done?

October 2nd, 2018  |  57 mins 5 secs

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This week we are taking you through the hole in the fabric of space-time, back 5 weeks to our first attempt at returning from hiatus. It was a simpler time when Kirstie was getting a lot less sleep and watching a lot more TV, and Kelsey was living her best RomCom life. First we discussed all the TV Kirstie watched on maternity leave, including the gringiness of 90s sitcoms, the argument for the 30 minute sitcom as a format, and Kirstie admitting she was right to lose the great Brooklyn 99 Fight of 2018. Then we have a rare opportunity to put a positive spin on everyone's favorite segment, Netflix, What Have You Done? With a pep in our step and sheer delight in our mics, we review the Netflix RomCom To All The Boys I loved Before, as well as praising the platform for their contributions to the RomCom Renaissance. For the second week in a row, we're glad to be back!

Netflix, What Have You Done: When We First Met and Series of Unfortunate Events

April 24th, 2018  |  1 hr 4 mins

adaptation, books, chris columbus, film, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, imbd, lemony snicket, literature, movies, netflix, netflix original, no opening credits, nonlinear timeline, outlander, podcast, romcom, series of unfortunate events, streaming, streaming tv, sweet tea, television, thought bubble, thought bubble audio, tv, when we first met

The theme of this episode is Netflix, What Have You Done? But it also could have been Soda, What Have You Done? Sweet Tea, What Have You Done? IMDB Pro, What Have You Done? We BYOB two Netflix originals. Kelsey watched the Netflix Original RomCom When We First Met and her algorithms will never be the same. We learn about IMDB and all the different ways you can tag panties. Then, Kirstie reveals a shocking plot twist: Netflix, What Have You Done can have positive connotations! We discuss the Series of Unfortunate Events, Kirstie's unbridled joy over television adaptations and dark stories for children. It's a bumpy episode for Netflix, Kirstie's knowledge of actor's names, movies of the mid 2000s and our understanding of the fundamental question, Netflix, What Have You Done?

What Fresh Hell Is This and Qwikster Day

September 11th, 2017  |  56 mins 11 secs

fall tv preview, hatewatch, hatewatch with us, netflix, podcast, qwikster, reboots, regrets, sitcoms, streaming, thought bubble audio, tv, white gold, young sheldon

This week we literally had to fight off a curse which included coffee spills, jacked up audio, and a mid-recording spider ambush in order to bring you this glorious content. We've got our Fall Tv Preview, complete with the return of everyone's favorite game segment, What Fresh Hell is This???? We talk about the Military Industrial Television Complex, Young Sheldon, Super Magicians turned FBI Agents, single cam sitcoms, Reboots, and so much more. Spoiler alert, we're not happy about any of it. Then for our B segment, it's time for a Hatewatch Holiday: Qwikster Day. Announced on Sept 18th, 2011, Netflix made a life choice that they regretted and rectified by October 10th, 2011. Kelsey has had this day marked on her google calendar ever since. We chose to commemorate this mistake by watching the new Netflix Original: The Adventures of Bobby Draper. Sorry, I meant White Gold. We've got grown men peeing their pants and other stuff that helps us keep our explicit rating. Spoiler alert: We don't hate it as much as we should have. Mark your calendars for next year!