Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show for Sarcastic People

Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe and A Shoe Addict's Christmas

December 11th, 2018  |  1 hr 38 secs

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It's our last installment of Hatewatch Hallmark before moving on to the endless bounty of off-brand Christmas movies, so we are coming in hot this week. We start with the sequel to our Outlander Store Dot Com special: A Novice's Guide to Destiny Dice and honestly we feel this should have been its own segment because it had way more to offer than either of the films we watched. We then move on to Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe where we had a lot of questions about our stock options next fiscal year. Before long we are visited by the Ghost of Jean Smart Past, Future, and Present, and were transported to A Shoe Addict's Christmas where Kelsey bestowed upon us the gift of her Candance impression and ERHMERHGERD did we dig up an old ass meme. If you too would like to redo your past in answer to your calling from God by your guardian angel Jean Smart, enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

Road to Christmas and Christmas In Evergreen: Letters to Santa

December 4th, 2018  |  1 hr 23 secs

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It's #HatewatchHallmark Vermont week! We watch Road to Christmas, where Kirstie learns how to identify a Chad Michael Murray in the wild, then it's like Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again! all over again as we revisit our favorite town with an inexplicable Christmas theme in Christmas in Evergreen: Letters to Santa. Ok, it's not quite as good as Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again!, but what could be? We chat about the specific boundaries we want Hallmark to push, Kirstie references male romantic leads as "the guy... the love guy," and we even get some good old fashioned tchotchke ponzi schemes. If you're reading this, Santa, consider this our letter, and enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

Christmas At Pemberley Manor and Princess Switch

November 27th, 2018  |  1 hr 23 mins

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Its the most wonderful time of the year, #HatewatchHallmark 2018! We are kicking off the season with Hallmark's Christmas at Pemberley Manor with a breakdown of Hallmark's many adaptive failures of classic literature, a few jokes at the expense of Gen Z, and plenty of printed emails. Then we move on to our favorite segment-within-a-segment with Netflix, What Have You Done? This time, Netflix has done A Princess Switch (formerly a Christmas Switch), and we travel to Belgragenovaldovia to shout about identity theft, transference, pureeing fruit, and bad accents. Come for the Parent Trap references, stay for the Generic Fictional European Country Eurovision Team draft picks. Also, if you like the show, don't forget to enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest! 25 entries will start a printed-email letter writing campaign to Hallmark and/or the creation of the Generic Fictional European Country Name Generator! Enter us here: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night

Hallmark Christmas Preview and Little Italy

October 16th, 2018  |  1 hr 3 mins

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